Since 16 and restless the scars on my left wrist have faded and now they're barely visible.
At 16 I left this permanent deathwish for a life more in control.
And deep down I know these dark thoughts still exist, they come to the surface and they take all I can give. The art school parties that I've started to frequent fill me with doubts of what my purpose really is.
Would you please just try to wake up on time today? I can't fix you all myself, can you meet me halfway? You know that you weren't born to lose, so please just choose a better life for yourself and for your future health.
And I thought that I was so much older then, but with the youth I've lost I've gained experience. My self destruction manifests in different ways, no longer with surface marks but days I waste away. My worst moments can be quantified on page, from frequent absences to work with failing grades.
I've been finding better ways to clear my head when I start to cave. With set goals and steps I take, I feel better every day.
When you're down, you're not out, think what you're fighting for! We've all been to the edge, we all keep howling on!
Since 16 I've been better, I got over myself, and this is an open letter to the friends who have helped. From the chairs to the streets where we talked it through, I know that I'd be nowhere without any of you.
from Since Sixteen,
released February 28, 2014
Ailey Wilder ~ Guest Vocals