status report

by Fenn Macon

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1.
01:04
all of these days go by slow without you hear to tell me jokes polar bears keep me warm out in this winter storm cold air defeats me in the end
2.
I hurt your arm in the summer on a foreign lawn Trying to drag you down with me Did you doubt me? If I were you, I would’ve tried to fucking drown me you said thats not what we do in my country we don’t treat girls like some kind of property maybe in the states you could get away with this but in this city men will see you and they’ll kill for lesser sins I hurt your arm then your chest and apologized Maybe you forgave me in time I spent the rest of that summer wrapped in headphones on a bus Did that hurt you even more than my betrayal of your trust? I made you leave me all alone in a city you called home I tried to explain in broken Spanish that we come from different planets I’m a wreck that washed up on your shore and all I do is pollute you
3.
i hate how you always cancel plans for your stupid band out late almost every single night you come home to fight, i no longer think that you’re my type of boy you just destroy my world am i your toy am i just another boring girl to you? i found a new friend, one who’s band i can stand
4.
01:40
I woke up I could not get back to sleep I went outside and when my feet they hit the ground they couldn’t stop This is earthbound, this is head sounds, this is out of my control, I need to see you, I need to feel you feeling me I want to look up at the sky and feel a sense of wonder in my stomach I want to feel like these bones are floating away from the ground I want to feel free and unencumbered by the weight of being me I want to feel like me, like the old me, the one who always did the right thing Did I ever know me? When did I start to outgrow me? When did I get bound to the earth below me?
5.
I’m watching your covers of our favorite songs from high school and singing along it feels so cool, it’s like were hanging out again, but we’ve been on separate coasts since then
6.
this is one thing that you’ll never take away from me the path is narrow the light is bending through the crooked trees as the snow falls and starts to bury the light refracted like you’re an addict you can never fully escape me the trees are sideways but they grew that way the weight they carry is more than i can the path is closing, the leaves are frozen, and in the distance there is a little house i see smoke rising, it hypnotizes me, i get distracted by my own absent thoughts they pull me under, I am your staircase, i am your pathway, you close around me we are back at the beginning the snow is falling off in the distance
7.
Moms always know what to say to take your pride away Moms leave you feeling bad for days Moms! She sees the bad in everything She'd criticize a diamond ring She’ll find the flaw in whatever you bring Moms! When you're feeling up Mom doesn't give a fuck She'll tell you how you could be better Moms! there’s no accomplishments only indifference and a perceived lack of self-discipline Moms! they’ve got this new thing now moms never heard about its called positive reinforcement Moms! you don’t like me and I’m your son do you even like anyone? is the world just one big disappointment? Moms!
8.
03:01
everyone came home, I walked away alone I kept my shades drawn low and my lights out I’ve been focusing on self improvement but I know more theory than practice I’ve been turned down for more jobs than blogs now I love people but I don’t live in praxis I am trying to let go or move on from this older group of friends that I loved for so long but they want nothing to do with me or no that’s giving myself too much credit entirely everyone moved away or moved on and I was just one small part of that I found new friends who love me and I love them back I’m amazed by people these days, everyone is doing so much I’m inspired by those who surround me but I find that I’m still stuck in my hometown trying to make my mom proud trying to help my dad out I should feel pretty good about myself these days but I never get it perfect, I could let it go or just try to avoid it. I’ve tried to change my process for evaluating my self-worth not “I’ve felt shitty all month” but “I’ve learned so god-damn much” I’ve found it sort of helps, I guess I’m focusing less and less on my mental health I’m doing pretty well

about

this is an album written for a songwriting challenge by Rachel Kline (rachelkline.bandcamp.com)

- a song that tells a secret
- a song that's not about love
- a song without a chorus
- a song that's a minute long
- a song your parents would hate
- a song written outside of your usual writing environment
- a song you need to write for you
- a song inspired by an image

thanks to Jon for doing this first and inspiring me to do it myself
you can check out his album here: jonthearchivist.bandcamp.com/album/february

these songs were written very quickly but I'm extremely proud of them, I'm not going to say which ones correspond to which prompts but I think a lot of them are obvious or fall under a few categories

split tape with Jon's release coming soon

credits

released February 29, 2016

all songs written and recorded by Fenn Macon
also I did the cover art and tape processing

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about

Fenn Macon Worcester, Massachusetts

check out the bands I am in:
The Baja Blasters
Superjerk
Really Great
Opposable
MCtheProfessor.GOV

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